Menopause Quotes Funny Quotations on Aging

by Laura Ramirez on July 20, 2011

Menopause Quotes Funny Quotations on Aging and Women Who Are Going Through the Change

They say growing old gracefully should be elevated to a fine art. As these seven carefully selected humorous quotes on aging show, however, a bit of humor and perspective go a long way as far as confronting the golden years are concerned. Laugh and be inspired by these gems mined from different sources, from established authors, celebs, to unknown people, and marvel at the way they capture the little truths about the aging process.

Question: Which hobby requires a length of string and lots of stamina?

A) Bungee jumping

B) Knitting

Sadly, if knitting popped into your head, you’re getting into the danger zone.

-Excerpt from the book The Delinquent Fairy’s Thoughts on Aging (2000) by Lauren White

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

-From a car bumper sticker

‘As women glide from their twenties to thirties’, Shazzer argues, ‘the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.’

-Excerpt from the book Bridget Jones’s Diary (1996) by Helen Fielding

Menopause Quotes Funny

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

-Actress Lucille Ball

menopause quotes funny

Menopause quotes: funny quips to make women laugh about aging and midlife changes.

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
Shuddering to the mirror.

Miranda in Miranda’s sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

-Excerpt from the poem A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty by Ogden Nash (August 19, 1902 – May 19, 1971)

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.” The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!” The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock wood”. She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”

-Anonymous Internet joke

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

-Comedian George Burns (January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996)

Have any funny menopause quotes to add to our collection? Please add your quotations below and make sure to cite the source. Let’s create a place where woman can tease each other lovingly and laugh about the realities of aging.

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