Funny Menopause Quotes for Women and the Men Who Love Them

by Laura Ramirez on July 7, 2011

Menopause is admittedly no walk in the park for any woman going through it. Declining hormones have a way of making nerves frazzled, tempers shortened, and emotions run high with seemingly little to no provocation. However, as with most things in life, having a sense of humor and looking at the bright side of it can make menopause easier to manage. Below are some funny menopause quotes which come from sources as varied as celebrities, Nobel Prize winners, authors, and even T-shirt slogans and anonymous jokers. We hope you can get a few chuckles and a whole lot of inspiration for your midlife transition with these memorable and oftentimes hilarious quotations.

funny menopause quotes

Funny menopause quotes can create perspective

“It all makes sense now!
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist…
and when we have real trouble, it’s a HIS terectomy.
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?”
-Hilarious text on a T-shirt celebrating a woman’s life after forty.

Funny Menopause Quotes
An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido’s stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she’s lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.)
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 50 there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.
-Writer, TV and radio personality, and humorist Andy Rooney on older women

“I found menopause to be an unnerving, confusing time and was dismayed at the lack of clear, straightforward information available to answer my questions. It seemed like everything I read raised more questions than answers. That is the reason I chose to speak out – I did not want other women to go through the same confusion I did. With a little information, women can celebrate menopause as the transition to a new phase in their lives, and make it a less fearful time.”
-Actress Cheryl Ladd on menopause

Funny Menopause Quotes
“The “Seven Dwarfs of Menopause” are Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and All-Dried-Up.”
-Actress Suzanne Somers in her book The Sexy Years: Discover the Hormone Connection–The Secret to Fabulous Sex, Great Health, and Vitality, for Women and Men (2004)

“I felt it was very derogatory. I feel there is noting predatory about a woman at a certain age…We have come so far since that.”
-Sex and The City actress Kim Cattrall answering a Today interview question on why she declined to pose with a cougar on a magazine cover geared toward women over 40.

If scientists ever find a cure for menopause, our big problem will suddenly become global cooling.
-Anonymous (for obvious reasons!) joke about menopause

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
-French author and Nobel Prize winner Anatole France

These funny menopause quotes simply prove that older women have so much to look forward to in life without worrying about the things she used to fret over when she was pre-menopausal. During menopause, a woman can simply be herself more fully than perhaps any other time of life.

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